Saturday, June 30, 2007

Anime Expo 2007, Long Beach Convention Center

axbackstageOh my gosh who thought that hanging out with a bunch of geeks could be sooo fawkin SEXY, no really there are some FINE SEXY boys at the Anime Expo at the Convention Center!!! . .  and did you know that this shit was as gay as it was??? O.K., so it's not rally billed as a GAY event, but still it's like Long Beach Pride . . .part two!! and the people are sooo nice . .  it's funny that way meanwhile let's see what else is poppin'??? mmm not a whole lot . . .
 
I'm pissed but what's new?
 
I'm sad . . but what's new?
 
I'm MIGHT be going to Chicago . . . then again I'm always gone . . .so what's new?
 
Stephen's Sister was in the advocate and that was hot . . but then it was kind of not cuz it was sad . . . so what's new?
 
Long Beach sux . . . but what's new?
 
My birthday is Wednesday and I'm gonna be spending it alone . .  but what's new?
 
This is going to be the DRIEST year ever on record unless we get a shitload of rain within the next 12 hours . . .bwahahahaha
 
Jimmy Chen is being remarkably stupid . . .but what's new there right?
 
I think Nathan and I are drifting apart well further apart and that kind of sucks, but I guess it's inevitable as much as I don't want it to be. It's funny the further Nathan and I drift . .  the more prevalent William becomes in my life again . .  it's strange that way because Will's got a partner . . . eh whatever there's nothing to read into with that so yeah
 
Oh well everyone have a great weekend

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Truth Be Told

everything about me is in these lyrics . . every truth every failure . . I've failed. I've fallen and there's no way to be redeemed . . . I'm lost and I am tired of hiding it. I'm lost and I need help. but I can't find it. I can't see anyone willing to reach back for my hand. It's killing me and I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I have let everyone down. I am sorry that I am a failure and I am sorry that I can't be the support and I need to be the supported. I'm sorry
Title: Sarah McLachlan - Fallen lyrics



Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Monday Night Cock Blocking . . . Tuesday Morning Hangovers

So I went to hang out with my friends, Stephen and Julie today. It was sort of a "Last Night in Long Beach, Non-Event . . which once again, sort of turned into an event . . . it started with some water . . . worked it's way through beer, a l'il wine . . . and ended with Long Island Ice Teas at the Brit and me passed out on the living room floor of Stephen's empty apartment . . .

And now that I think about it . . .

You know I think I'm actually hungover just a l'il bit this morning, (thanks Julie, thanks Stephen). . . wow that . . .that would be a first, being hung over that is!
As for cock blocking. . . hmmm I realize I'm not so good at it (Sorry Stephen) . . . bwahahahah sorry Stephen :o(
Awww wait you are leaving! nooooooo . . . it's not time tomorrow is better leave tomorrow!
eh regardless have a safe trip ok?
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Friday, June 22, 2007

One Night Only . . . Just One Night

aaaahhh yeah a night of drunken karaoke, good friends and listen . . what more Can I say? nothing except it was so much fun and being able to butcher someone else's music in a way that only I can . . . man good times and great memories . . . Thanks you all!
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

BULLSEYE!!!

I went to Target today to do some shopping.
 
I thought of you and it made me smile.
 
I miss those times so much.
 
I wish i could have them back.
 
I'd prefer the hell of Proenza Schouler to the Hell that I am in now.
 
I cried a lil bit . . . that's how much I miss you

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Sunday, June 17, 2007

Where' My Dogs at?

HOw funny is this? Nareth posted this on MySpace and I thought it was sort of funny and really kind of cute (true?) naw I don't know All I know is that the meat my favoprite Chinese restaraunt serves is 100% pure something or other . . bwahahahahahaah



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Thursday, June 14, 2007

This is dedicated to . . . UPDATED 06/162007!!!

My Mommy!
so yeah I'll write WHATEVER the fuck I choose to write . . . just so we're clear.

But what's more . . . seeing as that I anticipated your actions/words and I guessed a while ago how this was going to turn out and I wrote about it a long time ago on my blog . . . I also took the step of RECORDING every encounter you and I have had since being told to come back to the house back in DECEMBER!!!! So guess what? YESTERDAY's CONVERSATION HAS BEEN RECORDED and I have a good mind to post the recording on the Internet and let everyone who doubted that a woman, let alone someones mother, could be as horrible and nasty as you! I think everyone should listen to it and judge for themselves EXACTLY the kind of person you are! I knew eventually I would catch you and get the hard evidence I'd need to prove that you are truly a vile evil woman! IT m,ay have taken a while, but you know it's all been worth it. In just the last conversation alone, over a period of an hour you show how PETTY, SELF-ABSORBED, MANIPULATIVE, SELFISH, ABUSIVE, JEALOUS and PATHETIC you can be. You have no idea what kinds of horrible things you were saying do you? I doubt it sincerely. Well what kind of "UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING MOTHER (those are your words) says about their pregnant daughter that you don't give a fuck about her pregnancy (to protect the innocent I'll out everything else you said, but you know what I'm talking about)? What kind of UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING MOTHER (again your words) sits there and berates their children for having lives? Need I point out that you were YELLING because we can't be at your house at the drop of a hate? I'm sorry my sister's and I have jobs and families and pregnancies and LIVES . . . what the fuck is your problem??? Only you (and your own mother) could Be so self absorbed and jealous as to take someones illness and try and make it about themselves and then to turn around and take your children's lives and obligations and responsibilities and turn their successes AGAINST them . . . only you mother . . . but you know what . . it stops now because you are nothing you are a lowly sales associate at Walmart with nothing to live for but the dying man upstairs and the syncophatic daughter to your right. Maybe Kim was right, MARTHA . . . you've found your David!
Do you ever wonder why you know NOTHING about my life??? because I don't want you in it . . I don't want you near it I don't want you to have any PLACE in it . . you don't deserve to be there. I am tired of giving you chance after chance only to have you prove what kind of person you are time and again, but then silly me believes my sisters when they say you've changed. You haven't changed you never will . . . speaking of deserving things and NOT deserving things . . . you sat there essentially demanding the RESPECT and the SUPPORT of your children, I'm sorry I thought you knew . . you NEED TO GIVE respect and support in order to get it . . . just cause you gave birth, that doesn't make you a mother, nor does it make you entitled to ANYTHING. Like I said, I haven't lived with you in 17 years . . . which means you are no one to me. Sorry

And let's get one other thing straight . . . you are a VERBALLY ABUSIVE and EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE person . . . which makes your fat ass NO DIFFERENT than your abusive father . . .

So fucking get a clue what it is you've done to us and why we don't/ won't support you . . because I am fairly certain, but who knows in this family, that when and if my father passes away . . you are on your FUCKING OWN cuz I know for a fact I won't be there to help you. Now, old lady, there are only two ways for why I'd EVER think about seeing you again . . .


1) You are dead and in your casket . . . for which I would want to see cold hard proof that you are actually dead

or

2) You ADMIT that you are Verbally and Psychologically abusive not to mention the fact that you are a racist (need I mention what it is you call the folks who shop at your store?)

Why don't you stop trying to place blame on me and my sisters for your failings as a human being? . . . you are in fact a manipulator you are in fact a LIAR . . . you are the one who plays everyone else against everyone else . . . hmmm wow now that I think of it, you are also just like your mother!!! bwahahahahahahah

that's all I got to say . .

oh except for this:: Caryn Doty . . .you fat ass white trash narrow minded buck-toothed, homophobic, bigoted, racist, bitch . . .you need to mind your own fucking business . . . because what you know wouldn't fill a dixie cup and what you don't know can fill libraries . . . just because you are my mothers lackey NOW doesn't make you immune to her venomous vitriol you surely must remember how she's capable of turning on anyone at any time at the drop of a dime . . .you know that for a FACT need I mention the Easter Candy Incident?

To My Sisters . . EXCEPT SAVANNA . . . Kim and Kristin . . . all of this came about because of Kristin not being able to come over . . so I had to sit and get my ass berated and yelled at and called names all because Kristin was busy . . . how lame is that???? I hope I didn't get you all into trouble but what's written here is the truth and if you want to hear what was recorded, there's four hours worth, then I'll let you hear it before I post it, but you need to let me know . . . .


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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Assault at Five in The Morning

I just don't write like I used to . . . how sad is that??? a lil sad I know!
So Nathan is studying for his board exam doing practice questions and apparently FREAKING OUT. I am sitting here picking my nose being bored trying to think of something to write about that has nothing to do with Paris Hilton . . . oh yeah, Guess what? I was assaulted this morning at 5:30 on my way to the bus stop to catch the bus to go to my parents house. . . it was pretty bad too . . . and get this the whole incident took place under VIDEO SURVEILLANCE cameras . . and not a single mutha fuckin cop showed up and no one NO ONE did anything to help . . .how lame is that??? oh well . . . I'm fine I'm always fine
and this makes me laugh :::

There was supposed to be a video here, unfortunately I am not sure how to embed the videos from You Tube into my Blog . . but believe me it was really funny





eh i used to have stuff to say. I'm not feelin it so much right now . . oh well sux to be me anyhow hi!
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Saturday, June 09, 2007

hi

hi i miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And STILL in The News . . .



Paris hilton . . . is going BACK to jail . . in out in out . . she wears a weave she smokes weed, she does parties all night . . she went to the black side . bwahahah ojk that was unfair, but still she's headin back to jail after a brief release . . and that's sad, and funny and you can't help but feel even slightly sorry for her . . . or maybe you can . . who knows but Paris is in the news for a another month or so . . and that's sad . . .

Here are some of the other headlines regarding this . . I don't think I guve credit to anyone where I should but that's why I don't care. Cuz I don't care except for the picture to the left to the left that's from PEREZ HILTON . . .



Paris Hilton Back in Jail Hospital, Al Sharpton Turns Wrath on Baca
By Karen DiazJun 9, 2007

Paris Hilton was sent screaming and crying back to jail after a judge ruled that she must serve out her sentence behind bars rather than in the comfort of her Hollywood Hills home. "It's not right!" shouted Hilton, who violated her probation in a reckless driving case. "Mom!" she cried out to her mother. That means no Reverend Al Sharpton led marches through the Hollywood Hills. Al was scheduled for a Los Angeles tour of protests - So, now what Al?

Paris Hilton Back in Jail Hospital, Al Sharpton Turns Wrath on Baca
Responding to outcries over Thursday morning's sudden release of Paris Hilton from jail, the Reverend Al Sharpton plans to meet with LA County Sheriff Lee Baca on Monday. After learning of Hilton's early out, Sharpton said it had "all of the appearances of economic and racial favoritism."
***
"I think that it's both another glaring display of how race and money seem to get different treatments. There seems to be a different criminal justice system for some than others," Sharpton said. Sharpton whiffs badly on this one playing the race card. Snoop Dogg is not Caucasian, and neither is
Poor Al, with Paris back in the pokey, his Los Angeles vacation won't get the press it once would have. But take heart, she should get out soon and Sharpton can again scream injustice.

AND THEN THERE IS THIS ONE:::


Paris Hilton in Jail: Part Two
BY: Actress Archives Saturday, June 9, 2007
ADVERTISEMENT

It seems like the whole world was watching when Paris Hilton attended the MTV Movie Awards, as the celebutant made a speech and headed off to jail. Just three days later, the world was either elated or shocked when Paris Hilton was released from jail and assigned to spend the remained for her 45-day sentence under house arrest. All eyes were focused on Friday's court hearing that saw Judge Michael T. Sauer send Paris Hilton back to the Los Angeles County jail where she had been serving her sentence, despite the fact Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca had released her for "medical problems". Now, Paris Hilton is back in the slammer for round two of her jail sentence.
With Paris Hilton behind bars once more, it seems like her weekend plans are shot. Hilton is now undergoing medical and psychiatric examination at the Correctional Treatment Center at Los Angeles County's "Twin Towers" jail facility in downtown Los Angeles. According to Sheriff's Department spokesperson Steve Whitmore, who was quoted by Sign-On San Diego, Paris Hilton has not been paired with a roommate. "Most of the individuals in the Correctional Treatment Center are alone." The big question remains whether or not Paris Hilton will be taken back to the same isolated cell at the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood. Baca remained vague about her return to the facility, saying he would wait until he learned the outcome of Hilton's medical and psychiatric examinations before deciding where to place the Hilton Hotel heiress.
As for now, it seems Paris Hilton will spend the weekend at the "Twin Towers" facility in downtown Los Angeles. Sheriff Baca was quoted by Sign-On San Diego as saying Paris Hilton is temporarily being housed at a facility that, "has a more intense form of medical support and will watch her behavior so that there isn't anything that is harmfully done to herself by herself." While Baca did not explicitly state what Paris Hilton's medical problems were, he did classify them as "psychological." According to TMZ, those problems seem to be getting worse with each passing day that Paris Hilton spends in jail.
The latest report out of the Twin Towers medical ward is that Paris Hilton's condition has worsened. TMZ quoted a law enforcement source that said Paris Hilton was "teetering on the brink." Hilton is currently being kept in a glass room in the L.A. County jail facility, with a sergeant guarding the door at all times. As well, reports indicate that Paris Hilton has not slept or eaten since arriving at the Twin Towers facility. The various sources quoted by TMZ reports that Paris Hilton is "fragile" and "despondent" now that she's behind bars. Another source said Paris Hilton was "a train wreck," while yet another source called Paris Hilton "sullen and withdrawn."
Despite her deteriorating condition, TMZ quoted a source, who said that Paris Hilton is receiving "appropriate medical attention" during her stay in jail. However, according to Elliot Mintz, the once-fired publicist for Paris Hilton, her stay in jail may not be that long, as her lawyers are in the process of filing in appeal, which will be lodging in court on Monday. It is widely believed that Richard Hutton, the attorney for Paris Hilton, will file a writ with an appellate court in order to determine if Judge Sauer overstepped his boundaries by ordering Paris Hilton back to jail after the county sheriff released her into home confinement. One way or another, it's likely that the Paris Hilton saga will continue for up to 40 more days.
As the details of Paris Hilton's incarceration and appeal continue to develop, check out check out Love Her or Hate Her? on UGO.

THE SEATTLE POST HAS THIS TO SAY:::


Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail to serve entire sentence
var wn_last_ed_date = getLEDate("Jun 8, 2007 7:25 PM EST"); document.write(wn_last_ed_date);
June 8, 2007 04:25 PM PDT

Judge sends Paris Hilton back to jail
Paris Hilton is due to appear in court Friday in Los Angeles
if (document.layers) {document.write(''); document.close();}
coreAdsCreate('wnsz_20', 'loc', '100');
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LOS ANGELES (AP) - The circus that follows Paris Hilton almost everywhere was out in raucous full force Friday at Superior Court here, waving signs and dancing jigs.
But when the judge's order came down that she had to return to jail, the celebutante's supporters were reduced to stunned silence.
"Oh no," Hilton supporter "Melrose" Larry Green muttered softly, shaking his head at the news that Hilton would be going back to the slammer for violating her probation on a reckless driving conviction.
"People are just jealous of her because her name is Hilton, and she's part of the Hilton hotels," he had said a couple hours earlier after doing a dance to show his support. "I love the Hilton hotels," he added, "especially the one in New York."
The ruling by Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer also had its supporters. "I think justice was served," civil-rights activist Najee Ali said. "It helps restore the public confidence that was eroding nationally with the star-struck judicial system."
At the same time, Ali expressed sympathy for the star of TV's "The Simple Life." "This is not a time to celebrate.
It is a time to pray for her and her family," he said. Earlier, news helicopters buzzed Hilton's Hollywood Hills home and paparazzi swarmed a sheriff's patrol car as the sobbing, handcuffed heiress was placed inside and driven to the court.
Inside the courtroom, Hilton's hair was askew and she wore no makeup.
She cried throughout the hearing. Outside, Hilton's supporters were outnumbered by TV crews and other journalists who swarmed the courthouse just a day after the Sheriff's Department released Hilton for an undisclosed medical reason.
Still, the supporters were loud and prominent as an airplane towed a banner overhead proclaiming, "We Love Paris."
Several people who appeared with Hilton in episodes of "The Simple Life" also turned out. Among them was Joey Carmona, who said the heiress inspired him to lose 30 pounds when she paid a visit to a weight-loss camp as part of the show.
"She supported us on that show, and we're here to support her now," he said before the start of the hearing.
Carmona wouldn't say whether he thought Hilton had been treated fairly by the judicial system or should be returned to jail.
"That's really not for me to say," he said. Another supporter, Arlene Hampton, held a sign with a photograph of herself and the heiress and the words: "Prayn4U. Love, Arlene." "She was very supportive, very open and very personable," when she visited the weight-loss camp, Hampton said.
Some were at the courthouse were there for other matters, but were ready with an opinion. Moses Baltazar was there to clear up a traffic ticket. He acknowledged he was not a fan of Hilton, saying he was working as a valet the only time he met her.
She tipped him just a dollar after he went to the trouble of keeping paparazzi away from her. Baltazar felt Hilton should be returned to jail. "Driving like that, you have to behave," said Baltazar, 20. "If you're rich, you have money, you have to respect yourself."
(Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)


SO YEAH. . .
it's a never ending barage of all things Paris Hilton . . once a-fucking-gain . .bwahahahah

hey did you guys hear that Christina Aguilera is knocked up??? how cool is that????

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Distance

Distance does NOT make the heart grow fonder . . .
 
the heart makes the heart grow fonder . . .
love makes the heart grow fonder . . .
time makes the heart grow fonder
life makes the heart grow fonder . .
 
 
I'm fine I'm always fine . . .
 
Don't ask . . . anymore1

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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Cowboy Cookies

Ugh that's all I got to say Ugh . . . . Cowboy Cookies!!!

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I'm soooo yeah right now.  I'm not sure what to right
 
My mom thanked me for going to hang out with them like I do on wednesday's. She sounded sincere. I know it's hard on here what's going on with my dad. She was in a more "Happy" mood today. I think because a little bit of the streess of what's occurring has been relieved since the surgery last Friday. I just got an email from my sister letting me know that right after I left today the Oncologist anyhow yeah his Chemo stars on the 18th and will go once a week for like five months or something like I'm not sure
 
Urgh talk about stress for my mom.
 
Anyhow yeah Cowboy Cookies . .  don't ask I'll let you all know one day what they are.
 

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

How To Make an EMO Boy Cry!!!


How To Make An Emo Cry

Dan is such a miserable git at times, it really doesn't take much to make him cry. He seems to be always drying his eyes for goodness sake. I think I've perfected the art of reducing emo guys to tears! Here are a few of my favourite techniques.

Deny him access to your makeup bag. If you catch him hoking through your room for it, ring the local church and ask them what the Jesus would think of it. You might even want to organise a meeting between him and the pastor.

If he's a vegetarian, drive him out into the countryside and make him whip a cow with a feather boa until it collapses whilst holding him at gunpoint. Ensure that he takes a small bite out of the cow before giving it CPR if necessary. If he gets caught trying to resuscitating the animal by the authorities, inform them that he has a track record for tonguekissing livestock.

Hack into this Myspace/Bebo account and erase the "favourite music" list that he's spent 17 months compiling and replace it with "pretentious cock rock, blue jazz and Duran Duran".

When you hear him taking a crap in the bathroom, stand outside and make it known that you know what he's up to. You might want to try shouting "I know what you are up to in there! Stop it! Was that a FART I heard? Another one? Are you in there taking a crap? What's with the sex face?". Continue shouting random obscenities until you can hear him weeping from behind the door.

Tamper with his bathroom scales so that they always report that he is heavier than he already is.

Tell him that you're about to join the Westboro Baptist Church and that you've nominated him as a potential member. Make it known that he must streak his pubic hair pink before the God-like
Fred Phelps will even consider him for membership.

If he has an acoustic guitar, urinate in the soundhole and blame it on his dog. He'll probably take a fit and holler incoherently at the poor bastard for a few hours before collapsing in shame.
Remind him that life will continue on after death and that the sadness will never go away.

Tell his mother that you caught him masturbating during the Oprah Winfrey show.
Pour all of his secret stash of vodka down the drain and replace it with spring water.

The next time he wishes he was a girl begin to describe in graphic detail "womenly issues". Don't stop until he's in a state of shock. He'll come around in about a week and will be inconsolable for the next few months.

Ring the police and say that you have video evidence of him taking a crap in a bin.

Force him to run ball-naked through a forest in broad daylight and threaten to tell his mother about his bra-fetish if he refuses to obey your orders.

There's nothing as effective as pawning all of his favorite records, especially if it's the 3rd time it's happened in a month.

Everytime he tries to play his favorite record, scream "boring!!" over the top of it. You might wanna ask him how he can listen to such shit without suffering ear bleeds.

Visit all of his favorite bars and inform the clientele that he won't be around for the next few weeks because of an impending sex-change operation.

Replace all of the knives in his house with plastic ones. If he tries to self injure with a fork, replace them too. Bare in mind that self mutilation with forks is an ever growing problem in the emo community and it should be taking seriously. However,
Fundementalist Christians are under strict orders from Jesus to apphrend any young emos who may have fork marks on the forehead so it might be a laugh to see him stopped in the street
by a holy roller.

Remind him that no matter how much he eats, he will never have real breasts. It's particularly important to tell him this if you see him breastfeeding your cat. You don't want to go overboard here though as he might go too far and have cosmetic surgery and there's nothing much more frightening than an emo guy with tits.

Unless you're a Cure fan of course.
Every once in a while you might want to shout "Pete Wentz is dead!" followed by "Just kidding!" once you've upset him. This will definitely work a treat.

Kill his Nintendog in any conceivable way, even if it involves flushing it down the toilet. If you opt for this method you might want to take a dump on it first and call him in so that he can examine the deed. This will work especially well if the Nintendog is still barking for him in the toilet. If this is the case, flush it until it is silent. Inform him that his pet failed to make it to Doggy

Heaven and that he will never see it again.
Tell him that if he grew his hair just a little bit longer that he'd
look like a member of the Bee Gees.
Tell him that you had a "nightmare" last night where you danced on his grave for hours on end.

Deliberately fart near him whenever he is eating something with egg. After you've released the gas ask him if he smells anything "eggy" around here.

Write letters away to all of his favorite bands demanding free records otherwise you'll consider chopping off your Johnson and mailing parts of it off to each of the groups. The plan is to start with My Chemical Romance and end with Alkaline Trio.

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Heather Small Proud



I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don't know
Realise that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a change
Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising
We need a change
So do it today
'Cause I can see a clear horizon

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
'Cause you could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today
You could be so many people?
Just make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

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Madonna - Erotica/You Thrill Me Lyirics

 

Madonna - Erotica/you Thrill Me Lyrics



All over me
All over me
All over me
All over me
All over me
All over me

Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic

You are who your are
And I
Wouldn't want to change a thing
In spite of
All the pain that love can bring
Tell me
What can I do?
I'm so in love with you

You thrill me
Surround me, you fill me
You upset me
You put me in a trance

You feel me
Inside me you take me
You fill me
You put me in a trance

All over me
All over me
All over me
All over me

Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic

All over me
All over me
All over me
All over me

You are who your are
And I
Wouldn't want to change a thing
In spite of
All the pain that love can bring
Tell me
What can I do?
I'm so in love with you

You thrill me
Surround me, you fill me
You upset me
You put me in a trance

You feel me
Inside me you take me
You fill me
You put me in a trance

Erotic erotic
Erotic erotic
Erotic erotic
Erotic erotic

Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic

Erotica
Romance
Erotica

I'd like to put you in a trance

All over me
All over me
All over me
All over me

Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic

Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic erotic
Put your hands all over my body
Erotic

Booze . . Hello!!!!!!!



The District Weekly invited me to their launch party . . I think I had published the whole letter but for one reason or another this was all that showed up . . oh well it was fun . . . I vaguely recall
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Monday, June 04, 2007

Words my mother told me

So as a lot of you know I've been dealing with my family a lot lately. MY dad has been ill and well, it's a issue that needed the whole families attention. And THAT hasn't been easy. Not easy at all. First was Savanna and I getting at each other. Saying things we didn't necessarily mean to get our point across . . . then All of my sisters come at me to try and CONVINCE me of the power of UNITY and what not only to turn around a couple of days later and turn on each other. I know none of this is easy for any of them, not Kim nor Amanda or Kristin. I know Savanna isn't accepting the whole family being around well either. I mean she has gotten used to being the ONLY child and has come to enjoy the fact that she has mom and dad to herself and that's OK. But Kim (who is 37, i think) decided she was going to go after Savanna (who is 19) and sort of lay into her to RE-establish her dominance as the older sister . . it didn't work? why not? Kim took off with her tail between her legs Kristin got involved and apparently got yelled at by our mother and Savanna started doing what Savanna does best . . talking shit . . meanwhile on to what it was I really wanted to talk about . . .

During all of this (which only lasted about three weeks mind you) I have continued to go over and to not get involved. I Already had my drama and I straight up told everyone that I wasn't going to get involved and that they could go ahead and count me out of whatever drama they were intending on playing out. I was gonna see my dad and be there for him . . . exactly like I have been saying all along and the reason why I am here in Southern California the first place. Especially since there are other places (one place in particular) I would rather be than here.

Anyhow Last Wednesday (yeah I know this posting is a little old) but last Wednesday I went over to see my mom and Savanna as usual when all hell broke loose. Not between my mom and I (which is a rarity I assure you) but between one of my mom's friends and I. Actually out of respect and reverence to the situation I kept my mouth shut. NOT because I had nothing to say but because of I was no interested in fighting with anyone right then and there. But I also knew in my heart how STUPID this woman sounded because she was sitting there talking (yelling) about how great my parents were and how they did everything for us kids and never beat us and never said a mean thing about us and how ungrateful we were and blah blah blah . . . but what Caryn Doty didn't count on was the fact that for 15 years I have kept a list. A list of every rotten thing my mother has EVER said to me
So here is a partial list of things my mother has said to me . . just so that we are all on the same page and know EXACTLY why it is that I have a certain animosity towards my mother:::

1) I hate you and wish you were never born

2) You are worthless

3) You can't do anything right

4) You are going to end up EXACTLY like your uncle David

5) You are never going to amount to anything

6) I have no son

7) I disown you

8) Faggot

There is so much more to this, but I want to make sure that everything I am writing about is true and what not so I am gonna finish this up tomorrow or something

Saturday, June 02, 2007

So Exhausted

I'm beat you guys. I am not sure my family really knows just how beat I am, but I gotta fight the goodd fight and keep up appearances . . . but there are nights like last night where I go home and cry myself to sleep . . .

who'd guess it eh? me, crying myself to sleep . .

no outlet

no release . .  . .

ugh this is gonna kill me
 
 
My Dad hurting
My mom cryin.
My sisters fighting.
My Grandmother passing.
My aunt annoying.
 
Just cry I don't know what else to do. this is so confusing to me right now
 
I've lost so many other people friends and loved ones but this I am not dealing with so well. I'm not sure why. I thought I was prepared for this I thought that since so many others have been sick and have passsed away I could deal with this, not that my dad is going to die, because he won't, but still
 
By The Way Nathan, you were right it is Semanoma, my brilliant mother/sister got it wrong . . .again .  . hmmmmm from what I am seeing right now it's a young mans disease though . . .  I Love You
 


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Help keep the logik phuzzeh check out my blog . .

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